You know what frosts my flakes?
What teenage boys have to go through today just to ask a girl to a school dance.
It used to be that if you wanted to take a gal to Homecoming, you spent three days rehearsing exactly what you were going to say.
Then, you waited until she was alone, worked up enough courage to approach her and somehow managed to blurt out, “Would you like to go to the dance with me?”
Then, you held your breath and waited for an answer.
Not anymore.
Today, asking a girl to Homecoming has become a full-blown theatrical production complete with everything but fireworks, a marching band and a military flyover.
Give it another year. Somebody will probably add those, too.
Now, the guy needs a giant, multicolored poster with some creatively worded poem or pun asking the girl to the dance.
But you can’t just hand her the sign privately. Oh, no.
You need balloons, streamers, flowers, candy, stuffed animals and six friends helping with the production.
Then you need another friend recording the whole thing so her reaction can be posted on social media for the entire planet to see.
I’ve got to give these guys credit. They have a lot more guts than I did at their age.
When I asked a girl out, I only risked being rejected by one person.
These guys risk rejection in front of the entire student body, plus everyone on TikTok and Instagram before lunch.
And apparently, you can’t just ask anymore. The invitation itself has to be memorable, creative and Instagram-worthy.
At this point, it costs more to ask a girl to Homecoming than it did to marry one 50 years ago.
I’m Grandpa Grumpy, and if this trend continues, by 2030 a teenage boy will need an event planner, a film crew and a bank loan just to ask, “Want to go to the dance?”