You know what frosts my flakes?
Plunger bottles!
You know, those bottles with pumps on top for soap, shampoo, lotion, cleaners and body wash.
They’re everywhere now. I’m just waiting for toothpaste to come with a plunger.
Maybe ketchup, too, like it is in fast food restaurants and stadiums.
But, here’s the problem.
Every one of these bottles comes with the plunger locked down tighter than Fort Knox.
To get it to pop up, you’re supposed to twist it. How? Clockwise? Counterclockwise? Push down while twisting? Pull up while twisting?
It’s probably easier to break the combination on a bank vault.
The last bottle I bought refused to cooperate. I twisted that stupid thing so many times I nearly unscrewed my wrist.
I finally gave up and, for six weeks, I just pulled out the pump and wiped off the slimy straw with my hand to get the product.
Speaking of those straws, why are they ALWAYS an inch or two too short?
You can SEE there’s still product in the bottle, but the pump just wheezes and spits like an asthmatic lawn mower.
So now you’re banging the bottle on the counter, tilting it sideways and shaking it upside down like you’re trying to get the last nickel out of a piggy bank.
Even then, the product is often too thick to come out without waiting 15 minutes like you’re trying to tap syrup from a tree.
I’m Grandpa Grumpy, and if engineers can figure out how to land a rocket backward on a floating platform, surely somebody can invent a pump that opens on the first try and includes a straw reaches the BOTTOM of the bottle!