You know what frosts my flakes?
Gas pumps that slowly count up to the prepaid amount.
I watch people prepay for $20 worth of gas, and everything works just fine at first. The numbers are flying by and you can hear the gas pouring into the tank.
But, as soon as the total reaches about $19.50, the pump suddenly goes into sloth mode.
$19.51.
Wait.
$19.52.
Wait some more.
$19.53.
At this rate, I could walk inside, buy a hot dog, eat it, use the restroom and come back before the pump reaches $20.
It’s so slow, you start wondering if any gas is being dispensed at all.
You can hear the pump running. You can see the numbers changing. But is gasoline actually coming out of that nozzle?
You don’t dare pull it out to check because, knowing your luck, that’s the exact moment the pump will suddenly spit out the remaining 37 cents worth of gas all over your shoes.
I understand why the pump slows down. The computer doesn’t want to overshoot the amount you prepaid.
But, this is 2026. We have computers that can drive cars, recognize faces, write term papers and create fake videos of dead celebrities selling insurance.
Yet, somehow we haven’t developed the technology to put exactly $20 worth of gasoline into a car without spending the final minute dribbling it into the tank one tablespoon at a time?
I’m Grandpa Grumpy, and if a computer-controlled gas pump can be programmed to start slowing down 50 cents before reaching the prepaid total, why on earth can’t it wait until there are five cents left?
Better yet, here’s a crazy technological idea. Program the thing to stop at exactly $20.
Apparently, we’ve mastered artificial intelligence. Now let’s work on artificial pumping intelligence.