You know what frosts my flakes?
Motion-activated appliances.
Apparently, I have reached the age where modern technology no longer recognizes me as a living human being.
You walk into a public restroom and everything operates on motion sensors now.
The faucet, soap dispenser, paper towel dispenser and even the hand dryer are all motion activated.
\In theory, this is supposed to make life easier. In reality, it turns a simple trip to wash your hands into an interpretive dance performance.
I stand in front of the sink waving my hands around like I’m directing air traffic at O’Hare Airport.
Nothing. So, I move closer. Still nothing, even if I more further away.
But, the guy at the next sink walks up and the faucet immediately starts spraying water like it just reunited with a long-lost friend.
Then I step over to his sink. Nothing. Apparently, the faucet has standards or trust issues.
The hand dryers are even worse.You stick your hands underneath and they blast air for exactly 0.8 seconds. Then they shut off.
So you move your hands around trying to find the magic spot again. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off.
By the time your hands are dry, you’ve performed enough choreography to qualify for a Broadway audition.
And don’t get me started on automatic paper towel dispensers.
You wave. Nothing. You wave again. Nothing. You wave a third time and suddenly it spits out six feet of paper towels like you just hit the jackpot in Las Vegas.
Meanwhile, I’m still walking down a row of sinks and not a single faucet turns on.
At that point, I start wondering if I have become invisible. Maybe I am AI like a bunch of people think I am.
Or, maybe I’m a ghost and Grandpa Grumpy died years ago, but nobody told me.
Because these machines seem absolutely convinced I don’t exist.
I swear these things aren’t motion activated. They’re annoyance activated. And the more frustrated I get, the less they work.