You know what frosts my flakes?
People doing stupid things to gain Internet fame.
For example, stories that make people think it is perfectly reasonable to climb into a tiger enclosure and start performing a concert.
I recently saw one of those feel-good internet stories where a musician sits near a tiger and sings “Tears in Heaven” while the tiger appears to enjoy the performance.
The story presents it like they have discovered the world’s first feline music critic.
Now don’t get me wrong. It is a touching song. Eric Clapton wrote it after the tragic loss of his young son, and it has moved millions of people over the years.
But somewhere between “beautiful song” and “large carnivorous predator,” common sense seems to have left the building.
The internet sees a tiger sitting quietly beside a musician and immediately concludes, “Look! The tiger loves soft rock!”
No. The tiger is still a tiger.
You know what else tigers love? Meat.
The problem with these stories is that they encourage people to think wild animals are just oversized house cats with better stripes.
Next thing you know, some aspiring social media influencer is climbing into an enclosure with a guitar, a ukulele and a complete lack of survival instincts.
“Maybe if I sing the second verse, he’ll harmonize with me.”
No, Skippy. He’s deciding whether to start with your left arm or your right.
Wild animals are unpredictable. The fact that one tiger remained calm during one performance does not mean every tiger wants front-row tickets to an Eric Clapton tribute concert.
I’ve watched videos where people swim with sharks, pet bison, cuddle bear cubs and kiss cobras. Every one of those videos ends with viewers saying, “Aww, how sweet.”
I watch them and think, “This is going to be evidence at a future safety hearing or the highlight reel of a Darwin Awards nomination.”
The tiger in the video may have been well-trained and supervised. But that’s not the lesson people take away.
The lesson they take away is, “Hey, maybe wild animals will love my singing too.”
Trust me. If a tiger ever hears me sing, there won’t be tears in heaven. There will be Grandpa Grumpy in heaven and the tiger will be looking for an encore.