You know what frosts my flakes?
People who claim it costs $300,000 to raise a child.
What exactly are these kids eating? Gold-plated chicken nuggets?
Every few months, some expert appears on television and announces that raising a child now costs more than a luxury home. Then everybody nods solemnly and declares children to be unaffordable.
Well, Grandpa Grumpy has a question. When did raising children become an Olympic event in competitive spending?
My parents raised kids without designer strollers, travel baseball teams, private tutors, gaming computers, smart watches, cell phones, tablets, subscription boxes and birthday parties that require an event planner.
We had bicycles, if we were lucky.
Today, parents spend thousands of dollars trying to make sure little Timmy never experiences disappointment, boredom or the horrifying trauma of wearing hand-me-down clothes.
When I was growing up, hand-me-downs were still called clothes and nobody cared.
Back then, the goal wasn’t to raise a child with every advantage known to mankind.
The goal was to raise a responsible adult who could function through life without calling customer service because the Wi-Fi password changed.
Somewhere along the way, we confused needs with wants.
Now we’ve reached the point where young adults are afraid to have children at all.
They’ve been told kids require a six-figure income, a five-bedroom house, private lessons, travel sports and enough electronic gadgets to launch a satellite.
No wonder they’re scared. We’ve turned raising children into a luxury product when it’s really a responsibility.
Kids need food, shelter, love, guidance, discipline and parents who teach them responsibility.
They do not need a $1,200 smartphone at age 10.They do not need a travel sports schedule that generates more travel miles than a congressman.
And they certainly do not need parents who finance every whim with a credit card and then complain that children are too expensive.
You know some things that are free? Making your kid mow the lawn or make them wash dishes.
Parents can also teach kids to save money and say “thank you.”
Collectively, we can teach kids that the world does not owe them a trophy for simply showing up.
The most valuable lessons children learn cost absolutely nothing.
In fact, some of the most expensive things parents buy are the very things that prevent children from learning responsibility.
So, when somebody tells me it costs hundreds of thousands of dollars to raise a child, I smile.
It may cost that much to raise a spoiled child, but not to raise a responsible adult.
That mostly requires time, attention, consistency and the willingness to occasionally say a shocking two-letter word. No.
I am Grandpa Grumpy and children are only expensive when parents mistake luxury for necessity.