You know what really frosts my flakes?
Trying to find files on my computer.
There was a time when computers were simple. You saved a file and gave it a name.
Later, when you needed it again, you typed the file name into the search box and, like magic, the computer found it.
That system worked beautifully right up until computers decided they were smarter than people.
Now every file gets saved wherever the computer feels like putting it.
First, it tries saving the document in the last folder you opened, which is really helpful when it saves a letter to my insurance company inside a folder full of cookie recipes.
Then, if I forget to name the file myself, the computer creates one automatically using the first seven random words from the document.
So instead of a sensible file name like “Extension cord hazards,” I wind up with a file called “Final revised updated corrected copy NEWEST version 4.”
And heaven help you if you accidentally save something to the cloud. Now the file could be on your computer, in OneDrive, in Dropbox, in Google Drive or floating around somewhere over Nebraska for all I know.
Then comes the real fun. Trying to find the stupid thing.
You type in a word you absolutely know is in the title and the computer suddenly turns into an overeager game show contestant.
You search for “extension.” But, instead of finding the file named “Extension cord hazards,” the computer proudly shows you files containing words like “extend,” “extended,” “Extending” and displays a coupon or paid ad for hair extensions.
Then it starts guessing synonyms like it majored in English literature.
“Oh, you searched for extension? Perhaps you meant enlarge, expand or lengthen.”
No, Skippy, I meant extension. That’s why I typed extension.
Even putting quotation marks around the word doesn’t help anymore. Meanwhile, the file remains missing for three days.
Then one, afternoon, while searching for meatloaf recipes, there it is sitting in some completely unrelated folder like it had been hiding from me on purpose.
“Extension cord hazards” is right there between “Blueberry cobbler” and “Slow cooker chili.”
Computers were supposed to save time. Instead, half my life is spent searching for files I know exist because I created them.
I’m Grandpa Grumpy and modern computers were specifically designed to keep me properly irritated.
