You know what truly frosts my flakes?
Shrinking cereal boxes.
I swear cereal boxes today look like they were designed for Barbie Dream House kitchens.
Back in the day, one box of cereal could feed an entire family for a week. You opened a fresh box of Frosted Flakes and that thing felt like you were lifting a small suitcase.
Today? You pour two bowls and suddenly you’re staring at the bottom of the box like you just survived a blizzard in Wisconsin.
The manufacturers claim the box still contains “multiple servings.” Yeah, if your serving size is three Cheerios and a broken corn flake.
When I was a kid, standard cereal boxes held enough cereal to last awhile.
Now the “Mega Size” box is basically what regular size used to be 10 years ago.
And the prices? Holy bran flakes.
You practically need a small home equity loan to buy a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. The price goes up while the amount inside shrinks faster than Grandpa Grumpy’s patience at self-checkout.
Even worse, the bags inside the boxes are mostly air now. You open the box and discover the cereal bag looks like a party favor from a child’s birthday party.
I started noticing something disturbing recently. We are slowly returning to the single-serving cereal “snack packs” my grandmother used to buy when I visited her house.
Remember those little variety packs? Tiny boxes of Froot Loops, Corn Pops and Rice Krispies where one bowl emptied the entire container.
As a kid, that felt magical. As an adult, it feels like a warning sign for the collapse of the economy.
At this rate, cereal companies are going to start selling “family size” boxes containing six individual spoonfuls for $14.99.
And people will still buy them because apparently breakfast now requires a subscription plan and a rewards app.
I miss the days when cereal boxes were big enough to use to build forts. Now you could barely make a coaster.
I’m Grandpa Grumpy and apparently the only thing still growing in America is the empty space inside cereal boxes.
You can find more of this type of nonsense at GrandpaGrumpy.com.