You know what frosts my flakes?
Facebook’s nosy little robot asking if I’m interested in a post I’m already looking at.
I’ll be peacefully scrolling through pictures of my friends’ grandchildren, somebody’s barbecue or another beautiful Arizona sunset when, suddenly, Facebook interrupts me like an overeager store clerk.
“Are you interested in this post?”
Well, let’s think this through, Robo-Zuckerberg, and see if we can’t discover a pattern.
Did I stop scrolling long enough to read the post?
Yes? Then there’s a 50-50 chance I’m interested.
Did I click “Like” or one of the silly emojis?
No? Then there’s a decent chance I’m not interested.
Did I leave a comment?
If I wrote two sentences reminiscing about the good old days back in the 1970s, then, yes, I’m probably interested.
Did I share the post? If so, then congratulations, Sherlock, you cracked the case.
Artificial intelligence is supposed to be smart. Instead, it behaves like a know-it-all teenager who just discovered caffeine. Every few minutes, the robot pops up asking if I want to see more or less of something.
How about fewer interruptions? Is that an option?
I don’t need a robot monitoring my emotions while I scroll through Facebook like some kind of digital therapist.
And since Facebook’s robot has such a hard time determining whether I’m interested in a post, maybe that explains why it keeps showing me ads for things I already bought three months ago.
Nothing says “advanced technology” like trying to sell me the same garden hose I already own 47 times.
What I really need is an annoyed digital version of myself automatically sounding off every time a robot asks me a question. “I already answered that, you over-programmed little toaster!”
I’m Grandpa Grumpy. Does this stuff annoy you, too?
