You know what really frosts my flakes?
Trying to connect with a HUMAN at the Meta Corporation.
Meta owns Facebook and Instagram, and Grandpa Grumpy has accounts on both. But I can’t connect them properly to Meta Business Suite so I can easily see and quickly respond to comments.
I get hundreds of comments every week. When I can’t see them, people who took time to respond to my videos get ignored. I don’t like that.
So, after fighting this problem since April, I asked ChatGPT for help.
We checked everything. Facebook account? Green checkmarks. Instagram account? Green checkmarks. Account status? No violations.
But when I try to complete the connection, Meta tells me, “This business account is not allowed to advertise.”
There’s just one little problem.
I DON’T HAVE AN AD ACCOUNT!
Apparently, Meta has prohibited me from using something I’ve never tried to use.
So, I started a support chat.
The Meta robot poked around for 30 minutes before apparently suffering some kind of electronic nervous breakdown. So I asked for a human.
At 4:44 p.m., a human finally appeared.
Ten minutes later, I was told my case was being transferred to a “dedicated agent” and that someone would join me “shortly.”
Wonderful! Forty-five minutes later, nobody had arrived.
I checked in again at 6:26. Nothing. At 6:56, after waiting more than two hours, I announced Grandpa was going bed.
Guess when the “dedicated agent” finally showed up? At 12:31 IN THE MORNING! Nearly eight hours after I started the process.
Naturally, the agent wanted screenshots. And naturally, Grandpa was sound asleep.
So today I tried again. The robot said the estimated wait for a human was five minutes.
In the meantime, it offered to check why my ad accounts had been disabled.
Guess what it discovered? I DON’T HAVE ANY AD ACCOUNTS!
Finally, the robot offered to transfer me to another human.
So I accepted and Meta DISCONNECTED THE CHAT.
When I asked what happened, I got this:
“This case is currently unavailable through chat. You MAY receive an email from us IF we have an update.”
MAY receive an email?
IF there’s an update?
Meta reportedly employs tens of thousands of people around the world. Apparently, they’re all sharing one telephone.
I’m Grandpa Grumpy, and if your company is big enough to connect billions of people around the world, shouldn’t it be able to connect ONE CUSTOMER with ONE HUMAN who can answer ONE QUESTION?
Because after hours of robots, transfers, promises and disappearing agents, I still have the exact same problem I had when I started.
Maybe someone at Meta will eventually get back to me, IF there’s an update.