You know what really frosts my flakes?
Christmas in September.
I went to Sam’s Club yesterday and found rows of Christmas decorations already on display.
Christmas was still 114 days away!
We hadn’t even made it through Labor Day, and apparently I was already supposed to be shopping for twinkle lights, inflatable Santas and giant reindeer for the front yard.
What’s the rush?
Okay, I admit I’m probably not the best person to complain about starting Christmas early.
I listen to Christmas music way earlier than most people. But that’s because I prefer it to much of what passes for Christian music today.
And, yes, I never actually take down my Christmas tree. I remove the decorations and shove the tree into a corner until December rolls around again.
So perhaps I’m an early adopter of Christmas myself.
But there’s a difference between enjoying Christmas early and retailers acting like December starts in September.
Why would anyone need to buy Christmas decorations nearly four months before Christmas?
Is it part of this bizarre retail trend where stores put seasonal products on the shelves months before anyone needs them, then start discounting them as the actual season approaches?
By the time you finally need the stuff, it’s gone.
I saw the same thing when I lived in Wisconsin.
Snow shovels would appear in September and October, when nobody needed one. But try finding a decent snow shovel in January, when there’s eight inches of fresh snow in the driveway and yours broke in the last storm.
Or your kid goes through a growth spurt mid-season and you can’t find winter clothes in February.
Sorry! You should have bought one four months ago. We’re stocking patio furniture now.
At this rate, Christmas decorations will go on clearance by Thanksgiving so stores can make room for Valentine’s Day candy.
I’m Grandpa Grumpy, and I still think September is ridiculously early to start pushing Christmas decorations.
But if stores insist on filling their aisles with seasonal decorations four months early, I’ll admit one thing.
I’d much rather see Santa Claus, Christmas trees and twinkle lights than yards filled with witches, zombies, skeletons and other decorations celebrating death.
So maybe Christmas in September isn’t the worst idea retailers have ever had. Just don’t expect me to start shopping for Easter candy on Dec. 26.