You know what frosts my flakes?
Companies changing the rules AFTER they’ve taken your money.
I got an email from Audible yesterday announcing changes to its Conditions of Use.
Fine. I get those emails all the time. Usually, they’re 47 pages of legal mumbo jumbo nobody reads except lawyers billing $600 an hour.
But, this one caught my attention.
The email arrived November 3, announcing new conditions that took effect November 2.
Wait a minute!
Apparently, Audible has invented time travel. The new rules took effect yesterday, but they got around to telling me today!
I paid for 12 audiobook credits almost a year ago. Now I’m being told that if I don’t accept the new terms, I must stop using the service.
What happens to the credits I’ve already paid for? Do they just disappear into the corporate Bermuda Triangle?
And what are these wonderful new conditions that must be accepted retroactively?
For starters, disputes must be resolved through arbitration rather than a traditional courtroom, where a judge or jury might hear the case.
Customers also give up the ability to participate in class-action lawsuits covered by the agreement.
How convenient! Imagine a megacorporation overcharging a million customers by $5 each. That’s $5 million!
But, who’s going to spend weeks pursuing an individual arbitration claim over five bucks?
And here’s another interesting detail. Audible is incorporated in Washington state, but its new agreement specifies the laws of New York.
Why New York? Is Washington law too close to home? Did New York have a two-for-one special on corporate legal protection?
Now, arbitration isn’t necessarily unfair. But when a giant corporation writes the rules, selects the dispute-resolution process and requires customers to accept everything just to keep using something they’ve already purchased, you’ll forgive me for raising an eyebrow.
Actually, both eyebrows. And at my age, that’s a workout.
I’m Grandpa Grumpy, and I’ve been around long enough to recognize when something doesn’t pass the smell test.
Companies have every right to propose new contract terms. But customers deserve advance notice, a reasonable opportunity to review the changes and a fair way to recover prepaid value if they disagree.
You don’t get to move the goalposts after I’ve paid for the game!
Just for fun, I might demand arbitration over my unused credits.
After all, if Audible thinks arbitration is such a wonderful idea, who am I to disagree?