You know what frosts my flakes?
Companies using QR codes.
It used to be that when you bought something, you got a convenient, easy-to-read instruction manual.
Not anymore.
Corporate bean counters figured out QR codes are a great way to cut costs, dodge customer service and transfer all the frustration onto customers.
I just bought a wireless microphone from RØDE.
Inside the box was a “Quick Start Guide” about 3.5 inches tall and 4.5 inches wide with print so tiny you need a jeweler’s loupe to read it.
There were exactly four English instructions, and all of them basically explained how to open the box.
The other 20 pages repeated the same four instructions in a dozen different languages.
Boy, that was helpful.
Of course, there was also the mandatory “Regulatory and Safety Guide” written entirely in robot lawyer language.
It included groundbreaking advice like “keep batteries away from children” and “seek medical attention if a device is swallowed.”
Really? I was planning to sprinkle wireless microphones of my Fruit Loops tomorrow.
The helpfulness just kept rolling from there.
I followed the setup instructions and the microphone made me sound like I was broadcasting live from the bottom of a swimming pool after inhaling helium.
Yet nowhere in the box was there one actual explanation about how to configure the thing.
For that, I had to scan a QR code labeled “More Information.”
That QR code led to a website that looked less like a support page and more like a nonstop commercial for a product I already bought.
Ironically, the entire website was in English this time, but still managed to provide absolutely no useful setup advice.
Buried somewhere inside that digital jungle was another link to a user guide that repeated the same four instructions from the printed version, except now I could zoom in while being confused.
Naturally, I also had to download another app just to connect the microphone to my phone.
Apparently, buying electronics today means you also need access to a 14-year-old tech expert who sighs heavily while fixing everything in 12 seconds.
I’m Grandpa Grumpy and thank goodness I just welcomed my eighth grandchild.
At this rate, I should have free technical support for at least another 20 years. Maybe, by then, I’ll get this silly microphone to work.
You can follow my progress at GrandpaGrumpy.com.
