You know what really gets my goose?
Loyalty programs.
I thought the whole point was to reward customers for actually being loyal.
You know, giving a company your business over and over again.
Apparently, that’s not how it works anymore.
I can give some companies 100 percent of my business in a category. The same brand, same service every single time.
But, it’s still not enough.
Today, I get an email from a hotel chain telling me my points are about to expire like I left a carton of milk sitting in the fridge too long.
They say I earn points every time I stay with them. If I rack up enough points, then, someday, I can enjoy a “free” room.
It’s usually right next to the elevator on the first floor with a view of the dumpster. But, it’s free.
Back in the day, loyalty actually meant something.
Grocery stores gave out stamps. You filled up those little books like they were priceless art. And when you finally finished one, you got something real, like a toaster, radio or something you could actually use.
Then came punch cards. Buy ten foot-longs, get one free.
It was simple and honest with no expiration date hiding in fine print written by a lawyer.
But, now, your “rewards” vanish if you don’t use them fast enough.
Oh, you didn’t redeem your points within 90 days? Sorry. Poof. Gone.
Thanks for your loyalty. Please start over.
And don’t get me started on when the points don’t show up in your account in the first place.
You make a purchase, scan the app and do everything short of performing a small ceremony at the register. And then, nothing. No points.
So, you think, “No problem, I’ve got the receipt.”
Nope. Some companies won’t even let you submit it. Or, they make you jump through 14 hoops by uploading it sideways or upside down, and sacrificing your firstborn just to maybe get credit.
By the time you’re done, the points aren’t even worth the effort, especially if they expire next week.
So, let me get this straight.
I stay loyal to a company for years, but it is not loyal enough to track my purchases or honor the rewards it promised me?
That’s not a loyalty program. It’s a countdown clock.
And when this hotel chain tells me my points are about to disappear, just weeks before my annual road trip, well, that tells me everything I need to know.
Loyalty only goes one way.
So I deleted their app and now I’m going to see what their competitors have to offer.
Because if loyalty doesn’t matter to them, it sure doesn’t need to matter to me.
I’m Grandpa Grumpy, and I’m way too old for this nonsense.