You know what really frosts my flakes?
Venmo.
I know it is an insanely popular app and a very convenient way to pay people.
You go out to dinner with friends, somebody picks up the check and everyone sends that person their share. No cash. No checks. No arguing over who has change for a twenty. That’s great.
But, why on earth does Venmo think I care what everybody else is buying?
Every time you open the app, you’re greeted with what looks like the financial version of a Facebook news feed.
Joe paid Chris for eggs.
Matt paid Sam for pizza.
Sam paid Danielle for lobster.
Allie paid Jordan for bowling.
Wonderful. Thank you for keeping me informed. I was just sitting here wondering whether Allie ever settled up with Jordan for those bowling shoes.
Why do I need to know any of this? It’s not like these are important financial transactions.
Apparently, just knowing about the transaction isn’t enough. Venmo gives me an opportunity to weigh in on it.
I can leave a comment. I can give it a heart. I can respond with some ridiculous emoji. Why?
Am I supposed to congratulate Joe for successfully purchasing eggs?
“Way to go, Joe! I knew you could do it! Here’s a thumbs-up and a dancing chicken!”
Give me a break! We’ve somehow turned paying somebody back into a social event.
It used to be that if you owed your friend 20 bucks, you handed him 20 bucks. Transaction complete.
Nobody else knew about it. Nobody else cared about it. And nobody stood nearby waiting to give the transaction a heart.
Now we apparently need a running social commentary on every aspect of our financial lives.
Granted, these time-wasting voyeuristic updates generally involve people you’ve connected with on Venmo. That doesn’t make it better. In fact, it makes it even stranger.
If one of my friends sends another friend money, that’s their business. I don’t need to know who got paid, when they got paid or whether the money was for tacos, concert tickets, rent or somebody’s share of an inflatable flamingo.
And I certainly don’t need to react to it.
Do people’s lives have so little meaning and purpose today that we’ve reached the point where we’re scrolling through other people’s reimbursements for entertainment?
Why does absolutely everything we do today have to become social media?
I’m Grandpa Grumpy, and if I’m going to use an app to send money to my friends, the rest of the world certainly doesn’t need to know why I sent it, when I sent it or who received it.
Just move the money and mind your own Venmo business.