You know what really frosts my flakes?
Over-the-counter drug companies that hide the dosage like it’s a national security secret.
I’ve been fighting a cold for a week, and the pharmacist recommended a specific medicine.
Simple enough, right? Wrong.
The bottle proudly tells me there’s a satisfaction guarantee. It warns parents about medicine abuse. It lists every sniffle, sneeze and cough the product is supposed to cure.
But does it tell me how much to take? Of course not.
Today’s medicine labels are packed with so much legal mumbo jumbo that half the information is hidden under one of those folded labels.
Ever tried opening one?
If you think finding the microscopic X to close an online ad is frustrating, wait until you’re trying to peel apart two layers of plastic paper with aging fingernails.
Pull too hard and the entire label comes off. Pull too gently and nothing happens.
After 20 minutes of surgery worthy of a brain surgeon, I finally got it open.
It lists the ingredients, marketing claims, various warnings, and more warnings. It describes the people who shouldn’t take it as well as people who should call a doctor before taking it.
That includes people who are breastfeeding and people who might someday think about breastfeeding.
There is a number for the poison control center and another warning not to take more than directed.
But, I still can’t find the directions!
Am I supposed to swallow all 14 pills at once? Take one every hour? One every week?
Apparently, I’m expected to solve a medical scavenger hunt before treating a stuffy nose.
You know where the dosage finally was? On the cardboard box. The very box I threw away five seconds after opening the bottle.
It was buried as the fifth bullet point in a list of six directions.
One pill every 12 hours. No more than two pills in 24 hours.
Wouldn’t you think the single most important piece of information on a medicine bottle would be HOW MANY PILLS TO TAKE?
Maybe put it in big, bold letters on the front instead of below the satisfaction guarantee. Because I don’t need to know you’ll refund my $12.
I’d rather know how to use the medicine without needing a degree in label archaeology.
Here’s the useful part. Before you throw away the box from any over-the-counter medicine, make sure the dosage instructions are printed on the bottle. If they aren’t, keep the box or take a photo of the directions with your phone. It could save you a lot of frustration later.
I’m Grandpa Grumpy reminding drug companies that “take as directed” only works if you actually tell us what the directions are.