Grandpa Grumpy would be even grumpier today if he had not made a decision in late 2025 to turn off all news from his life.
Prior to that, I was consuming news like it was an all-you-can-eat buffet of misery. Morning headlines. Breaking news alerts. Endless social media arguments. Twenty-four-hour cable channels where six people screamed at each other while a giant red banner flashed the words “CRISIS” across the bottom of the screen every 12 minutes.
The constant drip of negativity was taking its toll.
Every day brought a new disaster, scandal, outrage or prediction that civilization was circling the drain. Apparently, the world was ending several times a week and I was expected to monitor every second of it like a lifeguard at the apocalypse.
So, to prevent me from slipping into utter hopelessness, I had to quit news cold turkey.
You know what? The first few days were challenging, but I do not miss it at all.
No more videos of people constantly bickering and talking over each other.
No more “experts” predicting doom while conveniently returning tomorrow to predict even more doom.
No more drama over which I had absolutely no control.
I finally realized something important. Ninety percent of the news had zero impact on my actual daily life. None.
Whether politicians were fighting, celebrities were melting down or somebody on social media was offended by a cartoon penguin, my grass still needed mowing and my coffee still tasted the same.
The biggest surprise? The world kept spinning without me monitoring it every 14 seconds.
I used to think staying informed made me responsible and intelligent. Instead, it mostly made me irritated and exhausted.
The news business today does not make money by calming people down. It profits by keeping viewers anxious, angry and glued to the screen like raccoons staring into a dumpster fire.
If the headline says, “Everything is mostly fine today,” nobody clicks on it.
But if the headline screams, “Ten shocking reasons society is collapsing before dinner,” suddenly everybody becomes a concerned scholar of doom.
And another thing frosts my flakes.
Why does every news story now have to include dramatic background music?
I clicked on a weather report the other day and it sounded like the trailer for an asteroid movie.
Folks, it is rain. We survived rain for thousands of years without a soundtrack composed by panic-stricken violinists.
Now that I stopped watching the news, my blood pressure is probably lower, my mood is better and I sleep a whole lot easier.
I spend more time talking to real people instead of staring at professional outrage merchants on television.
I read books again, take walks and even notice birds singing. I rediscovered the radical concept of peace and quiet.
Do I still hear about major events? Of course.
Trust me, if something truly important happens, somebody will tell you within six minutes, usually while they are standing in line at Walmart.
You do not need to marinate in nonstop negativity just to remain functional in society.
These days, I focus on things I can actually control.
- Being kind to people.
- Helping my family.
- Paying my bills.
- Avoiding self-checkout machines that yell at me for placing bananas in the bagging area incorrectly.
That is enough stress for one human being.
I am Grandpa Grumpy and I finally discovered that unplugging from the outrage machine may be the healthiest thing I have done in years.
