You know what really frosts my flakes?
Traffic lights.
If there was ever a job perfectly suited for AI, it’s controlling traffic lights.
Right now, they’re clearly programmed for maximum irritation.
I’ll be cruising along, minding my own business, when I hit one red light. Fine. That happens.
But, then it turns green, we all get moving again, and two blocks later the next light turns yellow like it’s playing a game of “Gotcha!”
We know there are 2,640 feet in a half mile. We also know a car going 40 miles per hour covers 3,520 feet per minute.
So somebody explain to me why I can’t go half a mile without stopping like I’m trying to maneuver through what I call the “Red Light Gauntlet.”
If I stay at 40 miles per hour, I should be gliding through a string of green lights like I’ve got VIP access.
Instead, I get a red light every quarter mile like I’m being punished for leaving the house.
And don’t tell me the technology doesn’t exist because every traffic light has a camera on it.
They say those cameras measure traffic flow, count cars, and adjust timing so everything runs smoothly.
Oh really?
Because from where I’m sitting, those cameras are just detecting the exact moment the next wave of cars cross an invisible line to trigger a light change.
It’s like they’re programed to think, “Oh look, they’re all up to speed. Let’s stop them again.”
Then, you sit there long enough to question your life choices before it turns green again.
And heaven help you if the guy in front of you fell asleep while waiting and you have to honk to wake him up when the light turns green.
I’m Grandpa Grumpy, and if these lights were any more coordinated, they’d charge admission and hand out tickets to the stop-and-go show.