You know what really frosts my flakes? Junk mail.
It’s the only mail I get anymore. So far this month, I got three real letters
and over 100 pieces of junk.
Credit card offers. Coupons for things I don’t want. “Important notices” that aren’t important at all. And corporate dentists offering free cleanings
Do I really need a daily delivery of this stuff?
We’ve got an entire army of mail carriers walking door to door hauling junk mail around like Santa Claus
without the reindeer or the cookies.
At this point, mailboxes should come with built-in recycle bins. It would just save everyone the trouble.
Drop it off on Tuesday, then pick it up again on Wednesday.
Heck, the post office could get paid to deliver it, then sell it for scrap on the return trip.
Now they’re talking about raising the price of a first-class stamp to 82 cents. It wasn’t that long ago
you could get two hamburgers at McDonald’s for that.
And today you pay more, but it still takes the Pony Express two weeks to get a birthday card across the state.
Meanwhile, junk mailers pay next to nothing.
So let me get this straight. The stuff I actually want to send costs more, and the stuff nobody wants keeps getting cheaper?
Here’s an idea. Flip it.
Make real mail 30 cents a stamp. Then, charge 82 cents for every piece of junk mail. I guarantee you that we’d see a whole lot less of it.
Fewer trees wasted. Less trash in landfills. And maybe, just maybe, I could open my mailbox without having to brace for impact.
I’m Grandpa Grumpy and if it doesn’t have my name on it, then mark it RETURN TO SENDER.